Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Cinco de Mustache


Some call it a Holiday, some call it an awakening, I call it a movement. A movement to bring the lost art of the mustache, back to its glory. I speak of the hallowed Cinco de Mustache. I did not create this movement, I simply got on a fast moving man train.

The pioneers of our movement; Tom Selleck, Cliff Claven, The Village People, Yosemite Sam. They have called and demanded our respect. Therefore in an effort to sanctify all that have paved the way, we grow...

The rules are simple:

1. Growing season begins April 1st.
2. Your face is your canvas; you do with it what you wish. Whether it be a beard, a goatee or the pure mustache. You grow until May 5, Cinco de Mustache.
3. On Cinco de Mustache, for the entire day, you must wear some form of mustache: the Handlebar, the Molester, the Moustachio (affectionately known as the Selleck), the Pornstache, the Walrus. It is your lip undergrowth, you decide. But for one day, May 5, you wear a mustache.
4. Take a before and after picture, to mark your momentous transformation into manliness.

It is that simple. Join the movement. Join the last beacon of pure masculinity. It’s time to shed the shackles of the naked upper lip and tell the world “I am Man”. Put on your magnificent lip warmer friend, and join Cinco de Mustache!